Brands aren’t your friends, they’re the idiots at the social media party

Do you know who aren’t your friends? Brands. Repeat it slowly: “Brands are not my friends.” Brands are psychopathic constructs, infesting your social media timelines with carefully-constructed babble, a hollow echo of a real human voice. Brands want to make you think they know what “on fleek” means. Brands want you to think they’re just another lonely joke writer who happens to be really obsessed with chicken, excessively long pizzas or how Coca Cola is the magic elixir that will wash away all of life’s problems. It’s the real thing! Choose to be brave when taking that big next step! #choosehappiness —…

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